The Gaslighting of the Millennial Generation by Caitlin Fisher

Author:Caitlin Fisher [Fisher, Caitlin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781633538856
Publisher: Mango Media
Published: 2019-04-24T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 7

Millennials Are Killing the Church

“Millennials leaving church in droves, study finds”

—CNN, May 2015

“Will Millennials Return to Religion?”

—Publisher’s Weekly, February 2018

“Why we should worry when Millennials don’t take religion seriously”

—Washington Post, April 2015

I wasn’t raised in a religious household. My mother describes herself as “spiritual but not religious,” my dad identifies as a “devout atheist,” and I ping-ponged around, attending a day of Vacation Bible School with a friend down the street, going to church a couple times with friends or relatives, and becoming a practicing Wiccan in middle and high school before considering my religion a vague shrug and noncommittal surrender to the Universe. This chapter was co-written with a good friend and colleague of mine, Misty Watson, since I don’t have a lot of first-hand experience interacting with the church myself.

Religion is so interesting to me, because I don’t base any part of my identity on it. I believe in stuff, sure. The Universe, I usually call it. Not God, specifically, but not necessarily not-God, if that makes sense. I consider my spirituality an aspect of my life’s practice but not my identity. And so, I see religion for what it truly is, and what it always has been, storytelling that gives people something to believe in.

I remember studying Greek and Roman mythology in high school and thinking that Christianity was no more or less valid than these stories. It’s all mythology and belief systems, it’s all just a way to find comfort in the unknown. Every civilization has their own idea of what happened before we got here, and people can find solace in those beliefs and the communities that surround them. No matter what your religious beliefs are, religion usually involves an aspect of community and togetherness that even atheists can appreciate. After all, humans are social creatures.

But what happens when those communities stop feeling so nurturing and supportive? What happens when your identity or your experience is shunned or ignored by the community, or even the God, you hold so dear?

Feeling Betrayed by God

According to the headlines, young people are leaving the church and turning their backs on organized religion. And data backs it up too: Research from PRRI comparing religious affiliation rates across decades show a massive rise in those claiming no affiliation. In 1986, only 10 percent of eighteen- to twenty-nine-year-olds were not religiously affiliated, while in 2016, 39 percent of this age range claimed no religion. That’s four times as many Millennials opting out of organized religion as their counterparts thirty years ago.35

This is a phenomenon I’ve seen in action, first encountering it in a support group for Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers that also happened to focus on atheism and freethinking. Freethinking is a term that many atheists use to describe their rejection of religion, and I was struck by the Venn diagram of people who had experienced narcissistic abuse and people who rejected religion. It got me wondering why so many survivors of toxic parents were also atheists.

Then I realized that

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